Thursday, June 28, 2012

MERKEL WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS


MERKEL WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS

This week we will watch yet again, the grandstanding of our political and financial elites, at another champagne drinking, carbon footprint enlarging, summit conference to save the world.

The time has come to introduce a moment of humor and light relief, into  this otherwise Shakespearean tragedy. In trying to think what it all reminded me of, my thoughts were drawn irresistibly to the  Walt Disney cartoon film, that children’s favorite, “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs”.

In reality only eight people really count in Europe today, and  the personalities portrayed by Disney fit them all rather well:

Snow White                                        Angela Merkel

Dopey                                                  Francois Hollande

Sneezey                                                Mariano Rajoy

Happy                                                  Mario Draghi

Sleepy                                                  Jose Manuel Barrosso

Grumpy                                                Wolfgang Schauble

Bashful                                                 Van Rumpoy

Doc                                                      Dr. Mario Monti


“Snow White”, as the only woman in the group, Angela Merkel is the obvious candidate. She certainly believes she is the most beautiful, even though the mirror on the wall may disagree. She wants the Dwarfs to put the house in order and get back to work in the mine, so long as it is German owned. She also has a split personality and can on occasion double as the wicked  witch. One wonders to whom she would offer the poisoned apple… the choice is limitless?

“Dopey”, although there were many contenders, the winner is probably Francois Hollande, the late arrival. He thinks you can achieve austerity by spending more, increase productivity by working less, and motivate businesses by taxing more. Good luck with all that.

“Sneezy” is certainly Rajoy. As soon as he sneezed all Europe caught a cold, although of course he has been spreading the microbes around for months, while telling everybody he was perfectly healthy and did not need any medication. Snow White should smack him and send him to bed.

“Happy” is Draghi, the only one who is standing on the sidelines, truly understanding what is going on, and  having a good laugh at the discomfiture of the others. When the situation becomes absolutely desperate, the others will ask him to print EUR Trillions, and let the ECB become a real clone of the FED. As the Japanese proverb goes, “if you sit long enough by the river you will see the corpses of your enemies float by”.

“Sleepy” is Barosso, he has been asleep at the wheel for decades, perhaps brought on by reading the thoughts of Chairman Mao during EU plenary sessions. Not even Daniel Hannan’s  reasoned  attacks can get him to lift his head from his Blackberry.

“Grumpy” is our much maligned but very competent German finance Minister, the enforcer of Merkel White’s policies. He is an uncompromising Germany first politician, there are even rumors he was thrown out of the Gestapo for cruelty.

“Bashful” is Von Rumpoy, our anticharismatic non elected “representative”. Much maligned by Nigel Farage for his unprepossessing timid appearance, Von Rumpoy should not be underestimated. He is highly intelligent, cultured, has his own agenda, and is often almost invisible.

“Doc” is Mario Monti. Well you could not arrange a putsch and send a simple citizen to Rome. It would be like a rerun of Mr Smith goes to Washington. No, you need to send a Doctor in Economics at a minimum, even better with a Nobel prize, for the destruction of democracy to be credible. 

Let’s see what the “dream team” will achieve in the next couple of days and in the meantime, happy viewing, and  bring lots of Popcorn and Coca Cola.




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